Our No-TV Home

We don't have a TV in our house. Shocking. Why would we choose such a situation you might ask? For us it came down to my children's dependence on it. Screens in general for that matter. As schools use screens more and more to aide in learning activities, I was starting to feel that my children were not learning to think outside of a screen for fulfillment if they were also coming home and using it for their prefered method of entertainment. My kids have Autism and can be quite close-minded when it comes to unstructured free time and how they spend it. I get it, screens are stimulating, mindless and take no effort to get enjoyment out of. I grew up watching TV after school, so when did I start feeling that something just wasn't right with this picture? Once I realized that my older son imparticular was being controlled entirely by his need of that screen. As his parent, I need to help him break that addiction and learn other ways of entertaining himself or else later on he would struggle hard at being able to function without a screen.

Function without a screen. Fifty years ago this would not have been an issue. Now the average millenial has a device on them at all times, myself included. Is my phone usually on my person? Yes. Does it make my life easier? Yes. Can I function without it? YES. I have important phone numbers memorized, I have a paper planner in my purse as a back-up for my phone calendar and I usually have a book nearby to entertain myself while waiting somewhere. I have one game downloaded on it for emergency "my child is melting down and we need just 5 more minutes to get through this appointment" moments. I use it pay bills on my finance apps. If it broke or was stolen, I'd be fine. No panic, no OMG my day is ruined. I would replace it and move on. Now, I am not saying this to bash those who proclaim their undying allegiance to their devices, to each their own. But, from a practical stand point how many millenials can say without a doubt they could, without any anxiety, unplug. Completely. Food for thought.

How did I teach my kids to not need a screen? I weaned them off before we moved into our new house in June. They were getting about the maximum of recommended screen time a day before I started to wean them (somedays a lot more). When you are tired or just want to drink HOT coffee  fold a basket of laundry, the TV is an awesome babysitter! I was there, I know. However, as my life began to change after my divorce from their father, I began to realize how little I actually enjoyed TV. In fact, the constant noise was aggravating and increased my stress. I began to read and learn about minimalism and discovered that some families don't have TVs at all! I was fascinated by this and decided to experiment with mine. So, while this kids were on summer vacation (2016) I declared a month of NO TV! My son was none too happy with me and the first week was a struggle and I almost gave in. But, I had reasoned with him that on the weekend with his dad he could have screen time there and this was temporary. The second week was a 180. The kids were more calm, focused and polite. They played with toys, read books, colored pictures and played outside. I actually got more done in my day because they were easier to redirect to a new activity. I was sold. After our month experiment school started back up. I decided to implement the "earn and burn" method for daily screen time. My older son who can read was given the rules that he needed to read for every minute of screen time he wanted to watch with a maximum of 30 minutes a day. He was allowed to skip days and roll over his time to the next day if he chose. So, for example, if he wanted to watch a 90 minute movie he needed to read 90 minutes and skip 2 days of watching TV or iPad time. This system worked amazing! He learned to actually "value" reading and the clear rules gave him some actual control over what he could watch rather than just only 30 minutes each day. For the younger 2 who could not read (4 and 2), I just simply limited it to 30 minutes a day. When we moved, the last bit to wean was not that hard.

So... what do they do all day?? Well, during the school year they go to school, do homework, go to karate 2-3 evenings a week and at home they play, read, color and do puzzles! In the summer we go on adventures (hiking, library, walks, playground, etc.) or we do everything above minus the school stuff. We visit family and grocery shop. We feed the chickens and play in the dirt. Children have amazing capacities to entertain themselves!

Let's be real. I still let them watch TV. I never said I didn't. But, now it's a treat, not an everyday fixture in our life. My parents live 2 houses over and sometimes on a rainy day we grab some popcorn and have a movie afternoon. Now instead of a daily blur of mindless shows, watching a new Disney movie on Netflix is a memory they can feel fond about.